When I was 16, I was very close with one girl...

and eventually figured out I had more feelings for her than a normal friendship. Being raised in a very conservative environment, I was definitely not okay with my feelings at that time…I was hiding a lot from my parents: when I went to pride I would physically hide behind friends if there were cameras. When I did this for the 100th time a friend told me I could just tell my parents and I realized he was right. Why should I live with fear when being queer is not something to be ashamed of?

I was afraid that the atmosphere at home would be very tense...

or they might even kick me out. After I moved out and was ready to tell them my fear was that they would not want to talk to me. It took me a long time to accept it, in this process my friends at Outsite and university helped immensely. Telling them was difficult, but it felt really nice to tell them and to find my place in the queer community.
Telling my parents was harder. I only managed to say ‘ik val ook op vrouwen’ ('I am attracted to women as well') and they left immediately. It hurt a lot but I was also relieved to not carry a secret around anymore. With time, even my parents turned out to be allies: a few months ago they got angry because a gay couple were not allowed to marry in their church.

I experienced that many people want to know ‘what you are’. This may be innocent curiosity, but it can feel like pressure to figure out your sexuality.

Labelling your sexuality really should not matter...

and takes time to figure out. I thought I was exclusively into women for many years, but then I met my current boyfriend. Now I feel like my sexuality will always be a journey. 
Since I have a boyfriend most people assume I’m straight. This often feels weird because that is not really who I am and I have to explain myself when I talk about Outsite.